We show more compassion to our animal companions, at the end. Quality of life, we watch and learn and look for signs, why on earth should our loved ones not have the same level of devoted concern? It's so sad, that your mother just wanted to be at home. It's such a multi-layered conundrum and an expensive one, to boot. I'm so sorry you've had to work through all this (how is your husband? Who can be at both coasts at once?)