Streaming

Appreciate the moments when the mind stops nattering. This morning, in the kitchen, I was remembering the neighbor asking me for milk, the same neighbor asking me for eggs, back a bit. I gave them, most of them, and never got them back. Petty, but I said no this time. Organic milk, expensive (she once gave me a gallon of spoiled smelly stink milk, a lovely gift until I opened it).

“Jesus would have given it,” I said in my head. “Jesus has a Father who’s Divine,” I countered. “My father wouldn’t have given it. My father wouldn’t have gone to the door!” I poured my milk and still felt wrong. Then I got edgy (a defense). “Know what the rest of us do when we’re out of milk? We go and get some!”

It’s not money, her vouchers provide her more than she uses. It’s my setting boundaries. No one likes it when you finally put your foot down. “Nice” is all well and good but some patterns need interrupting and it’s not “nice” to play along with them. I’ve been reticent to make any waves that rock any boats for as far back as I remember but I have the right to say no, and if that hurts your feelings, I’m very sorry. I trust you to deal with it.

My earliest memory involves milk. I was a helpful three, bringing in the bottle from the steps and dropped it on the rug. Milk glass everywhere and angry parents with their”stupid”’s. Forgive me if I can’t be kinder. Perhaps evaporated is the better choice

LBM 8/16/2023