On Being Pilfered
If you know me at all, you know I need to tell the story. So yesterday on Facebook, I noticed someone from ‘Planet Peony’ kept liking the same photograph I’d posted, over and over, and I didn’t even know you could do that! but it kept happening and I went to investigate because I am insanely curious. The woman was clearly up to no good. Sure enough, she has a zillion gorgeous flower close-ups, no credit to photographer, and sure enough, there’s one of my very favorites, and people are complimenting her on it and she is graciously thanking them, like it’s *hers*!!! So I left a comment beneath one of her responses, saying, in essence, “This is my photograph which you are using without my permission.” (which is stealing, but I didn’t say that). Then I sent her a message, saying I enjoyed sharing but it’s rude and disrespectful to not cite your source (when friends share, the original info is retained in the posting. As I said, I enjoy sharing. I don’t enjoy you pretending that it’s yours. Which is stealing, however I didn’t say that).
So I wrote to the owner of the group (I am a fairly new moderator, and maybe I could have just deleted her myself but it didn’t seem my call). I believe he’s taken care of it because I don’t see her name under members but then a man came by with: “What is the problem? It is just your ego, blah, blah, blah.” Then a woman came by with a cartload of shame to give away, “Get over it and stop complaining. There’s a pandemic going on” and I haven’t been shamed in a great many years but it feels the same as if I were still a child. How is that even possible? So I replied, “Thanks for your lovely response, ________. I am well acquainted with shaming. “Eat your food, children are starving in Africa. Your mother is promiscuous, you will be like her.” To assume that I can’t care about the state of the world because of my petty problems is an insult to the integrity of my soul.” And I blocked both of them, and turned my public FB posts to just friends, until Doug came home and didn’t even need to ask how my day was, just looked at my face. And he got it instantly, which is a beautiful thing because I’ve taught him and showed him who I am. He said, “You feel violated” (even typing this just now makes me cry). I do, he’s exactly right. The neighbor who came by and picked flowers from my garden like it’s a public park, when she might have just asked for some? Violating. Would it matter if I wasn’t sexually abused as a little girl? I don’t know, it may not have hit me the same way but all those poisoned arrows, as far from straight and true as they might have been, still stung me.
The old me would pack up my dollies and go home, no longer wishing to play. However, there are over 10,000 members in this group. I’ve been there 5 years and it’s one of the loveliest places on the web. So to slink away because I’m offended would be foolish. So let me say for the record, I am able to hold the suffering of the world *and* my own current state of affairs, in My Very Big Heart, all at the same time, and care about big pictures and perspectives while also being entrenched in my own little sphere of trying to be human.
I thank you for listening. I feel better now. If I had a soft warm rabbit to push my face into, it would remove some of the sting. But I don’t. And let me not complain about my sadness because I should be “over it” by now (I’m annoyed. I won’t tell you I’m so evolved I can instantly rise above it. I’m not incredibly fond of people, as a group, to begin with. I think we’re a failed experiment. Let the apes inherit the earth then. They can’t possibly do a worse job than we have).
LBM 5/6/2020 I wrote this. Me, Lori Beth McCray. It is my intellectual property (as if anyone else would want to claim it, lolol).
