Not sure how to say I get this, without sounding like I'm just saying words. I've moved through it, and I think you can too but I was always "too much", too everything, and no wonder I was alone. The contradiction is to tell yourself the opposite (you don't have to believe any of it) "Everyone loves me" and just see what comes up. If you expect to be shunned, it sets the stage for shunning. "Better isn't coming" ~ but better might have gotten a bit lost, might be trying very hard to find you. Might show up when you least expect it.