Journey Into Joy
When beauty dies, the soul absorbs the shock. Tries its best to transmute suffering into strength. Sorrow into wisdom. Despair into expansiveness.
To expand, in sorrow, and not whither, one must rely on the feeling of connection. To friends, lovers, animals, flowers ~ so Joy and Hope remain alive. No easy task, Joy can shrivel, turn hard and black, like a beloved bud. Hope for blossoming falls lifeless to the ground. A burst balloon, deflated.
Alone with your sadness, it’s easy to feel victimized. Fall into pity. Why me? Why now? I was a child when my mother died. Not close, I failed to mourn her, yet I dragged my sorrow with me like a blanket, hoping for comfort, understanding, or relief.
When beauty dies, the promise of happiness is broken, and all that is light and wonderful and free turns dense like stone. Impossible to move or circumvent, impossible to ignore, it threatens to pull you under.
Love rolls away the stone, but you must be willing to be free of it. Freed from it, you must be willing to move away from it; to seek Joy on your own behalf.
Angry, I waited for someone to deliver it to me. “Here is your Joy, sweet thing, to make up for all your suffering.” I didn’t wake up to the truth until I woke up from a failed suicide attempt.
The journey to Joy is highly personal. The seeker can’t rely on the offerings of others (though special and always welcome).
What brings me Joy, I’ve learned to cherish. I’ve dropped the stone which said I don’t deserve it. Carried it far too long, almost to the death.
Everyone deserves Happiness, Love. Freedom. On this day of remembrance, I re-dedicate my life to the sharing of whatever Hope I have to give, as we journey toward health, wholeness, and happiness. For all people, for all time, until everyone is free.
LBM 5/30/16
